On Friday The 13th and Battle Wounds

No kidding, nothing unlucky whatsoever happened to me today {on Friday the 13th} ... until approximately ten minutes ago, which also happened to be the last ten minutes of Friday the 13th on my half of the world. It was also just ten minutes ago that I happened to glance up at the clock and even realize that it was Friday the 13th at all. So I'm just over here tap-tapping my fingers, wondering if this is some kind of twisted Murphy's Law at work.

The mishap in question is that my VPN decided to go kaput, bye bye on me. In certain countries {ahem, China} that censor material on the Internet, you need a VPN to bypass various restrictions - basically, it's like one of those proxy websites that we used in high school to get past the firewalls that banned us from Facebook and the like. Except, on a much grander scale.

As such, I'm typing as fast as my fingers will allow me to, in case my miraculously still-running VPN session decides to really, fully, once and for all, die.

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Thank you all so much for your sweet comments on my last post. I didn't mean to give you guys quite the scare with that ominous title, but really appreciate all of you for caring! I've been out and about and doing everything my doctor told me not to do. Like showering. Even though it's an ordeal that's turned into a bit of a Saran wrap circus, it's worth not smelling like crud for nearly two weeks, I'd say.

But anyway, here I am with proof of my battle wound:

With nothing better to do except stock up on rest and naptimes, I brainstormed a few creative answers to the most commonly asked question I get recently, what happened to your neck? Well... you see, what happened was...

• Edward Cullen got to me. Vampire bites, you know, suck. Badumbah.
• It's a clever cover up for a hickey...
• From that frisky vampire. 
• I'm a stunt double for an action-packed movie, and there was a stunt gone wrong... involving knives and hostages and a sweaty, bloodied up Ryan Gosling. Or hmm, no... Matt Bomer. ROBERT. DOWNEY. JUNIOR. FINAL. ANSWER.
• I decided to be a test subject/dream come true for the people who invent the strange, yet weirdly amazing contraptions in SkyMall. New! Products to help you survive without touching a drop of water! 
• I got mistaken by A for a Pretty Little Liar.
• Just testing out my Frankenstein costume for Halloween. Can't wait till the last minute, y'know...
• Trying out life as a Build-A-Bear.

... and that's all I've got for now. For the last two references especially, click to see a gross, up-close picture of my stitches after the jump. For all you wound-wimps like me, trust me and leave while you can.

GROOODDDDYYYYY!!!! - five year olds.

and me.

Have a wonderful weekend!