If My BFF And I Hosted The Golden Globes...

1 // We would have Skype'd in from our beds because, well, the Golden Globes is kind of in the middle of our scheduled naptime.

2 // We would have taped the winners' envelopes under their seats, and envelopes with hella nice gift cards under everyone else's seats {I'm talkin' Taco Bell and Target} so that we could have pulled an Oprah. YOU are a winner, and YOU are a winner, and YOU are a winner too!

3 // Because then the actual awards show portion would have lasted about ten seconds maximum, and we could have pulled a switch so that confetti and chocolate Golden Globes and champagne and carbs would pour from the ceiling.

4 // Therefore, we would have moved on to the after (pajama) party!! Everyone would have had to line up single-file to Couture Check and trade in their Valentino's and Marchesa's for footsie pajamas and Snuggies. Oh, and an In-N-Out truck would have pulled up and everyone would have gone coo-coo for Double-Double's.

5 // And of course, we would have milked this gig for a lifetime. Everything we do will be preceded by a, "...from Golden Globes co-hosts and world-renowned BFFs..." Eighty years old and at the starting mark of our nursing home's annual wheelchair races: 

"...and here we have our 2015 Golden Globes co-hosts and world-renowned BFFs!"

Just y'all wait.

this is what happens when fancy gear is required. we bring the sweatpants. we always bring the sweatpants.
Disclaimer // I swear up, down, and all over the Christian Louboutin's that I probably will never have but have always dreamed about, that I wrote this before I watched the Golden Globes last night. I didn't even know that Oprah would be attending. In fact, when I heard Tina and Amy talk about looking under seats and Seth Meyers and Katie Holmes talk about gift cards, I was jumping on the couch and screaming, "but my blog poooooooost!!" Popcorn went a'flying, I tell you. Guess I'm just forever on the same page as Teen and Ames, ya feel?