The Birthday Formula

So I spent my birthday in my birthday suit.

Wait, wait. BACK IT UP. Let me explain. Recently I've developed this little theory that I like to refer to in my head as The Birthday Formula. No it's not the formula that the hospital made you feed on on the day of your actual birth. That was a stupid joke, and I'm sorry. Rather, The Birthday Formula is a list of nonnegotiables that make your birthday the best day of the year. When you're young and naive, you might think that the optimal Birthday Formula includes a pinata or a Barbie cake, which I actually won't argue with. But for my early twenties, my Birthday Formula consists of:

Ringing in the new year with the closest of friends, multiple renditions of Happy Birthday, and taquitos. Two to send the old year away, one to welcome the new one.

Getting pampered with my sister. This year, we decided on pedicures and a voyage to a Korean spa. This is where the birthday suit thingamajig comes in. Imagine ... hot tubs, cold plunge pools, saunas. Buttttttttt (pun intended), clothing discouraged. It's also completely single-sex though, so that's not a huge issue, but still. Pret.ty. awk.ward. However, the treatments were so insanely amazing that braving the awkward is more than worth it. A scrub, massage, facial, head massage, and hair washing later, I was completely transported to a parallel world where my entire being was clean and relaxed and soft like a baby's butt smothered in butter. That good. Oh, take me back.

NEXT. Noodles. Noodles are highly ranked on my Birthday Formula because I'm Chinese, and therefore we eat noodles on birthdays because long noodles = long life. Don't question the system.

Sushi's also a huge priority. It's my birthday cuisine of choice, always. This year, we went to Maruya. This was some next level sushi, so we chose to go with omakase, which is every indecisive human's dream come true. The courses were many, but the standout moments for me were: the gold flake atop the something-or-other because it made me feel like a rap star on his day off, the sea bass because sea bass, and the uni! Uni uni uni!

My Birthday Formula also consists of intermission activities, such as picking out a cake at BiRite, watching terrible movies, napping, grabbing burritos with oozy cheese, writing last minute essays on my phone while getting a pedicure, and arranging an outrageous cupcake tasting.  

Also critical within My Birthday Formula is the fact that a birthday needs to be prolonged as long as possible. To make this happen, you need to start dropping hints to people that they need to divvy up the two weeks sandwiching your birthday and keep the party goin' figuratively and literally.

Lauren's really good at picking up those hints.

She planned a whole day (again, every indecisive human's dream) of brunching until combustion, oohing and ahhing our way through Anthropologie, manicure-ing, napping, and then study dating at Starbucks before a quick and easy dinner. I've trained her well. 

And then, always always always, a birthday needs to end like so ^^^^^

No exceptions. 

What's your Birthday Formula? What are your demands?