An Anti-Brag List

I walked into a chair on my way out of work the other day.

It was standing there oh-so-innocently, and I almost fell flat on my face trying to avoid it. Not to brag or anything.

The first search term in my Google history is, "is Pyrex ceramics stove-safe." The answer's no, in case you were wondering. Apparently doing such a thing can end in disastrous results such as a "violent explosion." Sor-ry.

I did a 10-minute bikini arms workout video but replaced actual weights with a jar of peanut butter and a bottle of shampoo, and decided that this was reason enough I was allowed to have more than my fair share of blueberry muffins for breakfast.

Our cleaning lady kindly threw out the recycling that's been piling up behind my closet door for months now. And she made my bed, washed my coffee mugs, and generally took pity on me.

I grabbed my keys to let myself and some coworkers into the office a couple of days ago only to realize 5 minutes later that a stubborn tampon was casually hangin' out with all my keys. NICE, CAROLINE. REAL NICE.

So that's how this week is going. 

Not to rub it in your face, but my friend complimented my pool-playing skills.
"You're not awful," she said.
I gave up on my ambitious plans of writing up a post on my winter trip to China as a nod to Chinese New Years and a round-up of my favorite apps and websites, in favor of tuning into Pretty Little Liars and heating up a microwave meal (my Tuesday nights are sacred) and calling it a day. I apologize for being an overachiever, amigos.
Anything you wanna anti-brag about?